I arrived at the bank with the necessary paperwork in my bag and courage in my heart. Laurence's checking account made it feel like he was still present. Closing the account felt like I was closing off another part of his life. Another part of him is disappearing.
The teller directed me to a bank associate sitting at a desk. Choking back tears I whispered I was there because my husband passed away and I needed to close his account. He examined the paperwork and clicked away on this computer keyboard. "So what are you doing to enjoy this sunny afternoon?" he asked. Really? I just handed you my husband's death certificate and you are asking me if I am enjoying the sunshine??? I don't know how long I stared at him, first stunned by his insensitivity and then editing the litany of thoughts I would have liked to shout at him.
I am learning to manage my grief. Most of the time I find compassion when I hear hurtful things and know that it's not intentional. God was watching over me because before I could answer he was called away to handle another question.
I hope I am never so distracted that I am not aware of what someone is feeling. I make a vow to listen with more compassion. I ask God to guide me to speak words to others that are uplifting. I ask for more strength to learn how to forgive.
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