Getting through the holidays without my beloved was painful and depressing to say the least. The constant drone of Christmas music everywhere, gift buying frenzy, and commercial promise that this is a magical time of year is an emotional assault when in the midst of grief. Friendly store clerks would ask "Are you ready for the holiday?" "All ready," I lied. No one really wants to hear that my husband is dead, I'm depressed, alone and overwhelmed at every step I need to take.
But I did it! I moved through the sadness and grief one day at a time. I spent this week out of town with supportive friends who loved and supported me. I talked and emailed friends who listened and prayed.
In the midst of all of this, Christmas was revealed today. I felt God's love for me today and a sense of freedom. I remembered that the presence of Christ is with me even in the darkest hour. I still have many, many challenges ahead but I have renewed faith. I received the gift of Christmas which is love. Thank you God.
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