Memories

It was a year ago today that Laurence checked into the hospital for his bone marrow transplant. Memories have flooded my mind and filled my emotions. I am so grateful for his love and treasure the brief time we've had together.

Here an excerpt from Anatomy of Caring, Laurence's first journal entry from when he learned he had leukemia.


12/26/2009

"On Dec 15 I got a new doctor to take this next part of the journey. Dr. James Gajewski of OHSU is in charge of my care. He is a skilled and thoughtful man, deliberate in action and possesses a sense of humor appropriate to the conditions. He has a deep faith and respects not only his patients but the team of practitioners he partners with to care for his charges. I like and appreciate him.

He called on Dec 22 to say that the biopsy done on Dec 18 had come back showing an aggressive form of Leukemia (AML). I was stunned to hear those words come out of his mouth. Two days he gave me to come in and get started on chemo. It was nearly 4 in the afternoon when he called saying he wished it was better news. My previous biopsy was clear of Leukemia but clearly showed fibrosis.


My prayer now ranged from let me go to use me. I flashed on my Grandmother’s grief as well as my Mom’s grief at losing Dad and I can’t see me doing that to my wife, kids and family. Selfish I know but the prospect of the fatigue and lack of direction and uncertainty was beginning to weigh on me. I could hear the other side calling. However, I could feel the grief of loved ones present even more. Tuesday night I surrendered into the place of peace with God.

Wednesday we came to OHSU clinic for tests and then had dinner out, our sushi place. Tuesday night we had our Christmas exchange. It seems so long ago. Thursday we came here. It is with wide-eye wonder and fear we enter this next part of the journey."